We are very good at wearing masks in our society. I am not. Never have been really. I suppose I should be grateful in a way but at the same time I know I will never be able to play poker and win! I have NO poker face at all. I try to stand in my truth.
“Stand in your truth”.
I heard this saying years ago via Suze Orman. I love her. She is so candid and truthful, not to mention has a way of sending her message so that it gets to your heart. Now she is really focused on issues related to money and our relationship with it. I however think we can take that phrase and apply it to our lives as a whole philosophy to live by. I am quite visual so often picture this like you are stepping into a lamplight or spot light. It is your truth and your light to stand in and it brings a warmth and light to your life, but only you can step into it.
What does it mean?
It means taking off the masks we wear.
It means we stop worrying what others think.
Refusing to pretend to be anyone or anywhere we are not.
It means being honest with ourselves and others and finding strength in that honesty.
It means having those tough conversations.
One of the comments that struck me to start considering the fact that we need to stand in our truth in our lives wholly and not just about money is one Suze made talking about children and how they tend to have a sense of entitlement when we give them an allowance..for not doing anything. The comment was that they are part of the home and should help take care of it. Talk about standing in truth! Instead, give them the opportunity to do extra things to earn money (like raking leaves or shovelling snow etc.) that is beyond the day-to-day.
There are other ways we can begin to stand in our truth as well and this connects back to our value system so beautifully.
- You’ve been making strides to be a healthier person but you’ve slipped and had pizza and donuts? Okay. You can beat yourself up, wail moan and gnash your teeth about it and then just give up the whole thing because clearly you can’t handle this. Or you can stand in that truth. You made a mistake. Admit you had a weak moment and that you struggle. Now pick yourself up and move on, making sure the next meal you have is a healthy one.
- Financially things have been tough since you had your hours cut back at work. It’s easy to ignore the warning signs, let bills fester and not face the mounting debt. Time to take a breath and stand in that truth. You have a lot to deal with, make a plan, cut back, get a second job..whatever. But pretending everything is fine when it isn’t only makes them grow in strength.
- Looking for a home? Sure the bank will lend you $400,000 but realistically this will make things tight. Stand in the truth of this and realize that you may not have to spend that much to have a happy home. Look deeper at why you need a big house with all the fancy trappings right in the city. Are you buying to impress others? Imagine how much less stressed you would be if you have breathing room in your mortgage. The truth is what we can buy and what we can afford are often very different.
- You adjust your values system so that you can more easily fit in with what you perceive society wants you to be like. This causes you stress and upset and yet you push away the warning signs of what the problem is. Time to stand in your truth. What do you value? Career over Family? There is nothing wrong with this but the movies and society would have you believe it so. However, this truth will be best served up early before you have children to worry about and a spouse who is wondering why you won’t start a family ‘just yet’.
It can be hard sometimes because we want to appear successful and pleasing to other people. We have the whole ideal of ‘keeping up with the Jones’ still kicking around.
There is a real peace and serenity that comes from this raw honesty with yourself. It takes strength and sometimes I think the hardest truth is the one we admit to ourselves but it also gives you strength.
What truth do you need to move into?