by Moni Lamar
Motivation can be difficult to grab a hold of when you're riding the emotional roller coaster of a relationship breakup. Many days, lazing around on the couch seems to be a more desirable activity than something potentially more productive and better for you. And, even when you do want to do more productive things, such as work out, actually finding the motivation and willpower to do so can be next to impossible.
Once you do get into something like a physical fitness regimen, it's amazing how you can feel incredibly motivated and a thousand times better about yourself than you did when you were lazing about on that couch. But, how do you overcome lethargy and get into that fitness regimen? First, you'll need to set some basic goals. Make them simple and achievable; for example, start going to gym, but set out a time limit like 30 or 45 minutes, 2 or 3 times a week. Begin with simple weight-lifting machines and brisk walks on the treadmill.
After the first week or two, you can set up a more detailed regimen for your workout and make your goals more specific, such as setting a targeted weight loss goal in a reasonable time frame, or strengthening your body and increasing your overall fitness. Then plan out a routine that will help you attain that goal and maintain your success afterwards. Personal trainers at your gym may be able to provide free advice and suggestions for your plan so that you can be certain you're headed in the right direction – so don't hesitate to ask.
Creating a specified physical fitness regimen is an important factor in being proactive about your self and your self-esteem. When you detail what your goals are and how you intend to achieve them, it makes them far more attainable than when you leave them as some pipe dream you may or may not actually get around to doing. Once you get into a routine, getting motivated to do other things will come easier, you'll be in a productive rampage, and in no time you'll be feeling a lot better than you were before.
Here are four emotional exercises to help get you started.
1. Don't Take it Personally
When we are emotional and feeling hurt, we can easily become irrational and say things we don’t mean. Don’t be surprised if your partner acts like a small child and says unreasonable or mean things to you. They don’t mean it. They are simply hurt and need attention from you. Don’t take anything personally. Become the observer so you don’t get attached to what’s being said and react defensively
2. Delete Your Ex
Electronically exorcizing your ex is an important step in the break-up process.Seeing everything your ex is doing via his facebook, twitter and pinterest status will not be good for you. Delete him from facebook, twitter, even myspace. Don't forget to change your passwords if he knows it! Even better, block him, so it's not tempting to cyber-stalk or write something about the break-up that you will regret,
3. Surround Yourself With Healthy Support
As you heal, the support and encouragement of loved ones are essential to your regeneration. Embrace the affection of friends, family, or a beloved pet (the power of healing from animals is well documented). When interacting with your support system, there may be a desire to over-analyze your break up. While some processing is important and healthy, avoid endlessly revisiting the past and rehashing old wounds. If you pay attention to only mud on the ground after a storm, you won’t notice the sky above has already cleared. Focus on the positives.
4. Allow Yourself Peaceful Solitude
The next step in your healing process is to allow yourself peaceful solitude, and be comfortable in your own company. Engage in enjoyable, solitary activities that let you to feel peace and vitality on your own. Walking, cooking, gardening, art making and traveling are just a few examples. Get to know yourself again.
5. Get Back On Your Feet Again
If you have followed the above tips, you’re probably already in fairly good shape physically, mentally, and emotionally. The final tip is simply to get on with your life, knowing that your future is full of new and exciting possibilities!
Remember, there’s a right partner for everyone and yours will come into your life at the right time. It may require a good dose of self honesty and personal growth to attract him or her, but your partner is there to be found. And when that day comes, as you rest in the arms of that special someone, you’ll realize that everything happens for a reason, the search is over, and your courageous self-discovery has led you home to Love.